How to Survive a Tree Falling on You - Track #2
I danced with my dad to this track yesterday.
It came on in the morning while I was brushing my teeth. I started a little goofy dance and looked up.
He smiled, then I smiled.
He shook his head and laughed, then I laughed.
And then I started crying…and kept dancing with a few tears streaming down my cheeks.
Aaren asked me a while back if I thought about how this experience would be if my dad was here. I didn’t take it heart when she said it. But a few weeks later it hit me.
It would be really nice to have him here for this whole thing. And not because he was a doctor. Because he was the soft one.
He was the one I could talk to for hours, about life, about dreams, about the way wanted to walk through the world.
Don’t get me wrong, my mom is amazing. She’s incredible woman who I owe everything to and who deserves the world. But we only really got close after my Dad died.
If he was here, I’m sure he would get to be the protective dad he wanted to be. I’m sure he’d turn on “work mode” and be the hard-ass boss I only heard about. I’m sure he’d take advantage of the fact that is staunchly independent daughter had to rely on his help. And I’m petty sure I’d let him.
I’m sure he’d compare my situation to some sci-fi tale and I’d role my eyes. I’m sure he would be in charge of the TV - in the hospital and at home. I’m sure he’d make fun of the nutritional yeast in my kitchen. I’m sure he’d become obsessed with my air fryer. I’m sure he’d not-so- subtilely sneak cigarettes in the back yard…and accept my mom’s disapproval
I’m sure we would sit on the couch together and make jokes about mom being mom. And I’m sure he’d comfort her when they weren’t around me and she didn’t need to be string for me. And I’m sure he’d cry when he was alone.
I’m sure he’d show up for me in the ways he’d always wanted but never got the chance to.
I’m sure he would have smiled, shook his head, and laughed at me doing my goofy dance around the house in my wheelchair.
Just like he did this morning.
